Myths surrounding female friendships

If you were an alien sitting out in space and the only information you had about us Earthlings was from television and movies, your idea of female friendship would look something like this:

a. Every woman has either a BFF that she has been friends with since childhood/high school/college or a tight-knit group of quirky, well-dressed besties, and these kinds of friendships last forever.

b. Regardless of which of those options women have, they talk to their friends several times every day.

c. While the women themselves might be complicated, their friendships are not.

d. If a woman's life doesn't look like this, it is because there is something fundamentally wrong with her.

Does your life look like this? Mine certainly doesn't, and while I am sure that there are some women who genuinely have this kind of experience and these kinds of friendships, I am fairly sure those women are the exception, rather than the rule. In truth, this perfect picture of how female friendship is supposed to look is just a representation of some of today's most pervasive myths about what happens when women are friends. Buying into this idealogy creates an unrealistic and overly romanticized idea of what it means to have a friend, and to be a friend. And most importantly, believing these myths about friendship sets us up to miss out on the actual friendships that are available to us, simply because they don't match up to the myth.

Let us briefly look into some of these myths and how we can gradually debunk them.

1. BFFs and Besties

The idea that two or more people can be "Best Friends Forever" may be one of the most damaging myths our society embraces. Don't get me wrong, I know people who have found this kind of friendship and it can be real and when it is, it is awesome. But this type rarely occurs and this is where the damage comes in. It sustains the idea that "real" friendships last forever and makes no room for transient relationships. In truth, believing that you and your friend(s) will grow and change in ways that are always complementary and that will never lead you in different directions is unrealistic and may actually cost you your friendship in the end.

2. Being Friends Means Being in Constant Contact

It is okay to have as much or as little contact as each individual friendship requires. Not talking every day or even every week is not a sign that you aren't good friends; it is a sign that you are grown women with busy lives.

3. Real Friendships are Easy to Sustain

In truth, having friends, keeping friends, and especially making new friends requires time, energy, and effort. We live in a world where meeting new people and establishing new relationships of any kind is hard work. This is why so many people have turned to online dating to find a mate. Let go of the idea that "real" friendship only happens organically; it is as mythical as the idea that all you need to make a marriage work is love

4. If Your Friendships Don't Look Like This, There is Something Wrong with You

This is the most damaging myth of all because it simply isn't true. We all have different needs and are at different stages in our life which means the things we need from others, including the kind of friendships we need, differs too.

In truth, some of us love having lots of friends, and some of us are more comfortable with one or two. All that really matters is that you have the type of friendships that work for you and that those friendships bring happiness into your life.

Instead of comparing your reality to the fantasy these myths told you to strive towards, look at the friendships in your life and judge them based on how those friendships are supporting you, improving you, growing you, fulfilling you, and bringing happiness into your life.

And make sure you are not the only one benefitting, but always look for opportunities to do the same for your friends.

Enjoy your weekends folks!

Kindly share to a friend and comment below some other myths you know.