So what is gaslighting?

According to Wikipedia, gaslighting is a colloquialism, loosely defined as manipulating someone so as to make them question their own reality. The term derives from the title of a British theatre play Gas Light by Patrick Hamilton. In the film, a manipulative husband tries to make his wife think she is losing her mind by making subtle changes in her environment, including slowing and steadily dimming the flame on a gas lamp. Not only does he disrupt her environment and make her believe she is insane, but he also abuses and controls her, cutting her off from family and friends.

Can you guess what happened to the wife?

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that often occurs in abusive relationships. It's not a physical form of abuse but an emotional one. The victim questions their judgements and even wonder if they are losing their sanity.

This usually happens in romantic relationships, but it's not uncommon in controlling friendships or among family members and coworkers as well.

Gaslighting is a technique that undermines a person's perception of reality. When someone is gaslighting you, you may second guess yourself, your memories, recent events and perceptions. After communicating with the person gaslighting you, you may be left dazed and wondering if there's something wrong with you. You may be encouraged to think you are actually to blame for something or that you're just being too sensitive.

It can confuse you and cause you to question your judgement, memory, self-worth and overall mental health.

Here are some signs you are being gaslit

1. Lying to you

Even when you know they are not telling the truth, they can be very convincing. In the end, you start to second guess yourself.

2. Minimising your thoughts and feelings

Trivializing your emotions allows the person who is gaslighting you to gain power over you. When you constantly deal with someone who never acknowledges your thoughts, feelings and beliefs, you may begin to question them yourself.

3. Shifting blame

Every discussion is somehow twisted to where you are to blame for something that occurred.

4. Denying wrongdoing

People who engage in bullying and emotional abuse are notorious for denying that they did anything wrong. This tactic also makes it very hard for the victim to move on and heal from the bullying.

These are just a few of the numerous ways people can be gaslit. We constantly have to be on the lookout for some of these behaviors in our relationships with others.

And we can also take time and ask ourselves if are also bullies and abusers in our relationships and how we can put a stop to this toxic behavior.

So back to the film, well the wife began to feel neurotic, hypersensitive and out of control. She felt anxious, depressed and addicted to some form of drugs and had constant suicidal tendencies.

All these are the end results of being gaslit for an extended period of time. Your self esteem and confidence will be lost and you will be left questioning who you really are. It creates insecurity, confusion and a feeling of powerlessness and guilt. Left unaddressed, gaslighting can take a significant toll on your overall mental wellbeing.

I hope we've learnt something today. Let's prioritize our mental health and strive to be in healthy and productive relationships with ourselves and others.

Enjoy your weekend folks!!!