The Four Types of Liars

There are various ways of classifying lies: by their consequences, by the importance of their subject matters, by the speakers’ motives, and by the nature or context of the utterance.

Perhaps the most useful way to classify lies is by the people who tell them: the different types of liars. Understanding lies and liars can help us avoid getting duped as well as protect us from drifting into dishonesty ourselves.

Classifying the Types of Liars

The diagram below is a taxonomy of types of liars, based on plotting their lies along two axes: their intended audiences (x-axis) and their subject matters (y-axis).

People can lie to two kinds of audiences: other people or themselves, and they can lie about two different kinds of things: facts (or what they believe to be facts) and their values.

We all know what it looks like when people lie about facts, but how does one lie about their values? What are values, anyway?

According to Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, values are “how we want to be, what we want to stand for, and how we want to relate to the world around us.”

In my own words, values are attributes of the person you want to become.

To state your values in the here-and-now is to commit yourself to being or doing certain things in the future. For example, we might state our values include being a faithful spouse, a person who lives healthfully, or an adventurous individual. What we mean is that who we are and what we do in the future will have been shaped by our adherence to these precepts.

Deceitful liars: the types of liars who lie to others about facts. Lying to others about facts is prototypical lying. We’ve all done it. Children learn to lie around age three, and researchers believe it’s part of normal human brain development. Lying requires learning to see things from other people’s perspectives, developing what psychologists call “theory of mind.” The good news is that we tend to grow out of telling childish lies for purely personal gain—for the most part. We still tell white lies as adults to maintain social relationships.

When was the last time someone greeted you with “How are you?” and you responded with how you really felt? You likely said, “Great!” or “Fine!” even if you were having an awful day. This sort of dishonesty is expected. Yes, it is technically deceitful, but since both parties know you’re not supposed to respond with any substantive truth, you do it anyway. In games like poker, being a skillful liar can help you win. In politics, knowing how and when to lie can be an advantage.

Duplicitous liars: those who lie to others about their values

Lying about values can be even more corrosive to relationships than lying about facts. When I state a commitment to being faithful or healthful or loving, I position myself as a certain type of person. I am telling people what kind of person I am now and in the future so they can count on me to act in certain ways. Lying about values compromises people’s abilities to make informed decisions because it limits their view of what the future has to offer. If you trust me, you are likely to adjust your behavior based on what I say. When it becomes evident that there is a disconnect between someone’s professed values and their actions, it is difficult to trust their word ever again.

Delusional liars: those who lie to themselves about facts

In his novel, The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoevsky wrote, “Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him or around him and so loses all respect for himself and for others.” The motives for self-deceit are various. They include insulating ourselves from uncomfortable truths and convincing ourselves of comfortable ones.

Lying to oneself about an apocalypse that didn’t happen is silly, but the ability for self-deception can, at times, be a surprisingly valuable asset. It may encourage you to strive harder to make the lie a reality. The difference between a prophet and a false prophet is not necessarily who is telling the truth but rather who is better at convincing themselves and others to work at making their vision a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Demoralized liars: those who lie to themselves about their values

People deceive themselves about their values for many of the same reasons they deceive themselves about facts. Among other things, they want to see themselves as more diligent, honest, or trustworthy than they really are. They say they are committed to working hard, telling the truth, or keeping promises, but their actions say otherwise.

The pitfalls of lying about values are similar to those of lying about facts, but there is an added snare—lying to ourselves about values compromises our integrity.

This doesn’t imply that bending the truth can never be justified. If you’re sheltering a friend from a band of homicidal maniacs who ask point-blank if he’s with you, lying to protect his life makes sense. If your aunt asks how her new hat looks, lying to protect her feelings makes sense as well.

But even though lying in some situations might be the right thing to do, people with integrity handle any decision to lie with extreme caution. They use it as a last resort, and are very clear about their reasons. They understand that lying is like using high explosives—without the appropriate precautions, it can demolish integrity.

Spotting liars isn’t always as simple as when someone lies to you and you know the truth — but with this guide to the different types of liars, you should be equipped to detect them all and avoid becoming one yourself.

[Source: Nirandfar]