WHO PAYS ON A DATE?

Here are a few answers from random folk;

1.My husband and I have been married for almost ten years. He would pay for most things and the times I did pay; he would sneak the money back into my purse, leave it in my car or most recently order a gift worth the amount to be delivered to me at work. I had to get creative with it. When we enter say a restaurant, I would secretly give the waiter money estimated in my opinion to cover what we usually buy as we were being seated. It was so fun to see the look on my husband’s face when the waiter told him the meal had already been paid for as I receive my change if any. It became a game between the two of us. I understand some women today have this sense of entitlement where they do not realize what a turn off it may be for a man to not offer to foot some of the bills.

2.To me, being in a relationship is being a team. I do not have a problem treating my girlfriend to outings, but I do appreciate help from time to time. She does not have to over rely on me and vice versa. We are both in it to make our lives and our experiences more enjoyable.

3.It is about being considerate, thoughtful and caring. When my husband and I were dating, I remember he once on a date, went to the restroom and I took care of the bill. He was so surprised and yet thankful and it made me happy. He usually paid when we went out, so I countered his efforts with countless home-cooked meals at my place. We never kept tabs. It was all love.

4.You should not expect every man that shows interest in you to “wine and dine” you. As a man, you should not allow women to place unfair and unrealistic expectations on you that you would have a problem keeping up if things lead to a serious relationship and/or marriage. If you come across someone who is struggling with agreeing on this, I would hate to see how that person handles real issues that couples face in the long run.

5.During dating, my husband and I took turns supporting one another financially.

Sometimes I made more and he needed help, sometimes he made more and I needed help. But we always split our bills, I paid for dates and bought him gifts. Now I am a stay-at-home wife and I take care of everything around the house so the only thing he has to worry about is work (unless I am sick or having a particularly bad period then he helps with the chores). But we are as happy as practicable because we are a team in our own unique way.

6.I have been married 17 years and with my husband for 24 years. I do not remember paying for myself ever however, I never asked for us to go anywhere special or specific. It was always whatever what he wanted to spend on. I was happy staying home and cooking. I have always been of the view that if I do not see myself getting married to a man, we date for maybe about a few weeks but I never want to receive a gift or anything from him if I cannot see a future. I do not string anyone along for my sake or his. My husband and I were best friends for years before we dated too.

7.I am 79 and this was not an issue when I was a young man. It was an unwritten rule that men paid the bill on a date. It is usually the man that seeks the woman and the man was the ultimate provider and protector. By the way it is natural that women rely on men even if they would not admit it but most women will organically respect men that provide.

8.I've been married 34 years and I have never treated my husband like an ATM. When I tried to pay for stuff, he would actually get offended. He is a gentleman, always has been. But I never assumed that he was going to pay for things. Not even when dating. I always offered to either pay or go half. He would just not let me. He is a very good man. who wanted to take care of our family. I have always taken my checks and gone and got extra things we needed, but he always wanted to be the one to pay the bills because he felt that he was the husband and father. I respect him for that. I use my money to help out with other things in the house.

My take: For romantic dates, platonic dates, and dates with family member, if you invite them, you pay! If they invite you, they pay! If you decide to go together via a spontaneous decision, then it’s Dutch! Cheers!

[Author: Mandela Sapenu]